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Swinging, also known as wife swapping or partner swapping, is a non-monogamous behavior in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity.
The phenomenon of swinging, or at least its wider discussion and practice, is regarded by some as arising from the freer attitudes to sexual activity after the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the invention and availability of the contraceptive pill and the emergence of treatments for many of the sexually transmitted diseases that were known at that time.
The swinger community sometimes refers to itself as « the lifestyle », or as « the alternative lifestyle ».The term « wife swapping » or « partner swapping » is criticized for not accurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which both singles or couples may engage,[3] which is not limited to conventional sex with a person other than their regular sex partner. Other terms sometimes encountered are wife sharing, partner sharing, wife trading. and wife lending, which describe similar concepts, usually in sociological or anthropological research. As these terms have become dated, with women participating as fully in the decision making process as their male partners, the more gender-neutral term « swinging » has gained popularity.
Reasons for swinging
People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Many cite the increased quality, quantity, and frequency of sex. Some people may engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or due to their curiosity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship. Others regard such activities as merely a social and recreational interaction with others.
International Swinger community’s Flag, created by Ted Williams and Emilio Designs Graphic Design Enaver. Red rings represent the passion and unbreakable bond between the couple, the yellow background represents the light and fire of desire, the blue color of the vastness of the sky
Modern swinging
Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity involving partner swapping at an informal gathering of friends to planned regular social meetings to « hooking up » with like-minded people at a sex club (also known as a swinger club, not to be confused with a strip club). Different clubs offer varied facilities and atmospheres, and often hold « theme » nights.[5] Much like a « secret society », swingers have code talk and secret lingo to hide their discussions from the scrutiny of those not involved in that lifestyle. Vanilla is a term used to describe a non-swinger.
Swinging is also known to take place in semi-public venues such as hotels, resorts, or cruise ships, or often in private homes. Furthermore, many websites that cater to swinging couples now exist, some boasting hundreds of thousands of members.
Hotwife
A hotwife is a woman, usually married, who has casual sex with a variety of men with her husband’s or partner’s approval. In some cases the husband will set up the liaisons, asking men to have sexual intercourse with his wife. Others are set up at a swing club or similar place where she can be gang-banged, or at an adult video arcade or other locale with glory holes, where she can service multiple males.
It differs from
adultery, because there is no secret and the husband’s approval is essential. The husband’s presence while the wife engages in sex is usually desired, or is his right, under the terms of the couple’s « agreement ».
swinging, because the husband will not be provided with a partner, or even be allowed to orgasm.
cuckoldry, because the wife usually has a variety of partners, instead of being dominated and « used » by a single bull.
It is a variety of erotic humiliation.
Prevalence
According to 2005 estimates by the Kinsey Institute and others, swingers account for two to four percent of married couples with numbers in excess of 4 million people in North America. As of 2011, some experts believe that there are as many as 15 million Americans swinging on a regular basis.
Research on swinging has been conducted in the United States since the late 1960s. One 2000 study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to visitors of swinger-related sites, found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm.
60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said swinging made their relationship less happy. Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship « very happy » before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier. 90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them.
Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy; approximately 25% admitted « I have difficulty controlling jealousy when swinging » as « somewhat true », while 6% said this was « yes, very much » true. Swingers rate themselves happier (« very happy »: 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more « exciting » (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins. There was no significant difference between responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females completed the survey. This study, which only polled self-identified swingers, is of limited use to a broader application to the rest of society (external validity) owing to self-selected sampling.
John Stossel produced an investigative news report into the swinging lifestyle. Stossel’s report in 2005 cited Terry Gould’s research, which concluded that « couples swing in order to not cheat on their partners ». When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry their spouse will « find they like someone else better, » one male replied, « People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They don’t swing to go out and find a new wife; » a woman asserted, « It makes women more confident – that they are the ones in charge. » Stossel interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, « not one of them said don’t do it, » though some said « getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage ». Nevertheless, swingers whom Stossel interviewed claimed « their marriages are stronger because they don’t have affairs and they don’t lie to each other. »
According to economic studies on swinging, the information and communications technology revolution, together with improvements in medicine, has been effective in reducing some of the costs of swinging and hence in increasing the number of swingers. The economic approaches which seem best suited to capture the empirical data are those based on the concept of hedonic adaptation. These approaches suggest that it is consistent with maximizing swingers’ strategy to begin from « soft » swinging and only later engage in « harder » swinging, and that also the search for ever new sexual experiences delays long-period hedonic adaptation and hence increases swingers’ long-period wellbeing. Both of these theoretical predictions seem to find confirmation in the empirical data on swinger behaviour.
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